THE BEGINNING

I slept late. I woke up early. I shaved my beard. I had my shower. I put on my shirt and pants. Tied up my shoes. Wore Dior Homme. I dropped my wife to her parents’ house. Went to work. 10 minutes later I left work. I went to my wife. I took her to the hospital. She got admitted. I signed some papers. I went to my car. I lit a cig. I went see my wife. I was not allowed. I waited in the waiting room. It is noon. I went home. I had a shower. I went back to hospital. I went to see my wife. I was allowed this time. I said how are you. She said not bad. I said is it painful. She said yes. I said big time? She said now I love my mom more and more. She said she never loved her mom as much as that moment. They asked me to leave the room. I waited in the waiting room. My mom came. Her mom came. Her sister came. Another sister came. Her niece also came. The third sister came with her kids. My brother came. Her fourth sister came. We all waited. I smoked like hell. I was very cool. My friend was with me. I drank tea with milk. I drank water. I smoked and smoked. Time was passing very very slow. I was getting tired. Really tired. But I was cool. Every one was nervous. I tried to be nervous, but couldn’t. I was laughing and talking with every one. Every one was asking me whether I feel or don’t feel. What was their problem. I called my father. I talked with him. He was cool. I was cool too. I went down for a cig. My father called. He told me she is out. I threw the cig. I went up. I was cool. I felt the blood rushing into my face. My face was red. My ears were red. I saw them all at the gate. I said what’s up to my mother-in-law. She didn’t understand. I didn’t care. I went inside. I saw my wife. I smiled at her. She smiled back. I kissed her. She kissed me back. She started to cry. She told me look at Sarah. Sarah was born. My first baby. Sarah looked great. Her eyes were open. She was quite. She was looking at every body. I kissed her. I felt fantastic. It was unbelievable. I loved her. She is me. She is from me. She looked like me when I was born. We took pics. I wanted every one to leave. I wanted to be alone with my wife and baby Sarah. I went home. I changed my jeans. I went to a friend. We had a cig. I went back to the hospital. I saw my wife and Sarah again. She was beautiful. I kissed them and went home to sleep. I woke up early. I went to the hospital. One day passed. Two days passed. Three days passed. Now back to home. I drove my wife and Sarah back home. I was telling Sarah about what we were passing by. We reached my in-laws house. Every one was there. I took pics with Sarah. I loved Sarah. God bless Sarah.

The days are passing and Sarah is growing up. She smiles to me. Though I don’t spend enough time with her, but I believe she knows me. The way she blinks makes me freeze and keep staring at her. The way she moves her lips makes me wanna eat them. I don’t remember a single time when I resisted. She smells very very nice. I smell good. But she smells better. I put my nose on her neck and breathe. She gets pissed. Seems she want me always clean shaved. But I don’t care. I keep my nose. I keep breathing and smelling her. When I put her on my chest I feel warm. I feel like I am holding and embracing my self. She is mini me. When she sleeps on my chest I feel her whispering to me, take care of me father, I will sleep on your chest, I wanna hear you heartbeat. I know my mom’s, I wanna know yours.

I wanted to have baby girl but I didn’t think it is that great. I am sure that I will love her more and more with everyday that passes. I want her to start talking. I wanna talk with her. I am want her to start walking. I wanna walk her to her husband. I want her to grow up. I want her to be smart and strong. I want her to take care of her mother. I want her to kiss me every day good morning and good night. I want her to help me cross the road later when my sight goes old. I want her to make me a grand father. I want her to be a great wife and mother. I want Sarah to be great…

Feeling the fatherhood makes me confused. Makes me think and think. Makes me evaluate what gonna be best for your her. She makes me think wise. She makes me think far. And she makes me think in nothing but her when she is sitting on my lap.

I love Sarah…